Cracks in the foundation

Date: Mon, Mar 5, 2012 at 10:16 AM

Subject: Cracks in the foundation

Here is a purim joke.

Its funny because it is true.

So an israeli gets his car stuck in the snow. He gets out and starts screaming. A few weeks later, the snow melts, and he retorts, "see if you yell long enough, you get your way."

this sums up life in israel. Not big on advanced planning. More instinctual and spur of the moment.

A comfort level with complete strangers that is both amusing and awkward at the same time. The word for sister is also the same word for nurse. You can call a grown man "doodu"

children at around the age of 7-9 go to the local grocery stores by themselves. The stores will sell them beer and cigrettes (and regular food too)

religious peole serve in the army. Pay taxes. You can get paid to study jewish texts – its considered to be a higher level spiritually if you do it for free.

People who outside dress seems secular often know more torah than you might think.

The average israeli knows very little about arabs, even if they served near or in arab areas. Its an extremely complex society in all regards. What follows is some true things that happen to me and some thoughts that I have that i spring up due to these occurances.

There is a very deep teaching brought by the baal shem tov, that you only see (experience) what you are meant to see/experience, and it is an outer manifestation of your inner soul.

In our hastly constructed apartment we live on the fourth floor – the top level of our building. Our building roof has small leaks, some of which have crept into our walls and caused mold to grow.

We have a building association, called a vaad beit, which is like a home owners association. We all pay a fixed amount to the vaad and this person is supposed to fix building issues, keep the common areas clean and other building related issues/problems. It is a thankless job and unpaid. Once a year buildings elect a new vaad, but typically it is only one or two people who take it on, and they must be owners of their units and speak hebrew of course. We moved in four years ago and there has been one vaad meeting.

So, now there is a leek in the roof. The owner of our apartment claims its the vaads problem to fix and the vaad says its the owners problem. Meanwhile, weve got this leak, and the apartment next door has the same problems. also, its been an incredibly rainy winter and now a leak has moved to a drip on the common area between my aprtment and our neighbors.

The neighbors who just moved in, are from the usa and in their mid to late 60s. Theyve been in the apartment about a month and a half. Last week they left for the usa for four to six months as they pack up their home in the usa. Very odd.

What does this have to do with anything?

Not much, just life in israel. No one wants to take responsibility for anything, pay for anything and when you are a new immigrant and/or have poor hebrew its even harder.

I know understand immigrants to the USA on a whole different level.

Fortunately, i am a legal resident if israel living in a city that is in internationally recognized Israel, so we dont deal with th army or Peace Now trying to dismantle or neighborhood/city.

In fact, supposedly, Iran wants to wipe out all of Israel, but on a regular day like today, a person just makes his/her coffee, gets their children off to school and tries to earn an honest living. In short, i just dont feel like there is an immediate threat to my life.

The "funny" thing is, our building like all new construction since 1990 has the "sealed" room as apart of the apartment.

Supposedly this sealed room is where my wife, myself and three kids are supposed to go if there would be a missle attack.

Why is it funny? Because its on the fourth floor! Facing the street! In other words if a missile actually hit our building the "safe/sealed" room would be a ridiculously unsafe place to be. And a nuclear attack? I really have a hard time imagining life after nuclear war. I know there are post apocolyspe movies that try to envision life after the bomb, but im rather sure if anyone did survive a nuclear attack life would not look like Mad Max or any other filmatic vision.

So, its weird to read the internet news about Iran and Israel. Its strange to read about missles launching from gaza into israel, and from lebenon into Israel. Its strange to read about Israel attacking gaza, or attacks at western wall (only 45 min drive away and about 20 min from my work!)

its like its just not real. I know. People get stoned, youths get shot by the army, tear gas canisters, and worse seem to happen daily right in my backyard so-to-speak and yet, i sit on an egged bus surrounded by people – completley full of people. The roads are overtaxed with traffic, the guy sitting next to me is asleep, a woman in back smoozes on her cell phone and meanwhile, Iran is going to wipe out Israel.

Its just not believable. I know every so often there is a really scary article or youtube video or a politician or religious figure who starts foaming at the mouth, but im telling you straight, it doesnt seem to change a darn thing.

Things just keep on keepin on.

The men sit next to the men, the women sit next to the women, nothing changed on the buses. For all the bluster and political speeches, and the secretary of the usa having her say, absolutley nothing changed.

Not in israel. Not in syria. Its got to be at least 50,000 if not more people have been killed in over a two yr period. But ya know what is really important? The new nike shoe release. People trampled each other to get a new pair of shoes! Wall street still occupies america, not the other way around.

And so it goes. recently ive been feeling my paint crack. Ive been feeling that i have a leak in my roof. So i went to my vaad bait (my rabbi) and he suggested i try a new shul.

Now let me tell you something very intensely.

And it might hurt your feelings.

Ive Never Had a Rabbi like that!

A rabbi telling you to go to a different shul?

Yes. Im being serious. So, of course, if you go to your rabbi and he tells you to daven somewhere else, you try it.

So off i went. One friday night. Oy, it was hard. I saw peole i knew, and most of the people spoke english, and even though it was a different nusach, that wasnt the only difference. Sigh. Its hard to explain. I mean there are 40thousand shuls on Dolev alone, so there must be a reason why there are so many. . . . Okay, there are not 40 thousand, but you get the idea.

So, the next week, i tried friday and saturday at this shul that the rabbi told me to go to.

Oy. It just wasnt the same! What was i going to do?

The same rabbi also agreed with my wife about checking out a new town, called maalee adumim, which we did – during the week.

Oy. I didnt like it. What am i going to do?

Then, i get this email from my wife, what a holy person! She wanted me to know that a specific rabbi was in town, and hed be at the shul that i had formally been going to for two yrs, where the rabbi told me i should go somewhere else.

Then a strange thing happened. The rabbi called me. Now, im not telling who the rabbi is for a reason. But this is the second time he has called me "out of the blue"

why was he calling? In his broken english (he was born and raised in israel. His wife is an American, but english is not his strong suit) anyway, the Rabbi calls me to tell me that he has set my family up with another family from the shul for a meal.

I know you are laughing and im leaving lots of details out, but he really did make the phone call.

Almonit, my wife was shocked. Why is the rabbi calling us to set us up with a family we dont know? Why? After two years and not comnecting to any families is this happening now? I told my wife, "i have no idea whyvthe rabbi is calling us and setting us up with another family. Do you want to go?" Almonit agrees and the weekbprogresses tobshabbot. As we get closer to shabbot,bthe weather has not improved. So my wife calls the home thatvwe are going to and tells the imma that if its really pouring out we wont be abke to make it.

The weather held out. Friday night i went back to the shul that i had taken a rabbinically advised break from. I walk in and go immediately to the rabbi. I thanked him for all his efforts, for calling this family, for calling around in maale adumim (i forgot to mention that he took his time to call people in maale adumim on our behalf. It turns out his wifes uncle is a rav of a shul there.)

i basically thanked him until ashrei started and it was time to daven. My makom cavua (ie my seat) was still available. I have a long standing personal custom that if im late and someone is my "spot" i never say anything and just sit somewhere else. If i get to shul early, before davening, ill ask the person to move. Anyway, this isnt about my little idiosyncracies. Its about Israel.

So, im back in my seat. The guy next to me is saying korbanus, as is the shul minhag, and he is shephardi and many shephardi jews say korbunus at mincha. So, he doesnt stop – but he does shake my hand. Later, he asked me where id been. I told him the rabbi suggested i check out another shul. His first question? "how was it?"

look – how do i answer that question? Its like when someone asks you how your day was. They arent really expecting a real answer. In the religious world, weve got this amazing answer "baruch hashem"

you can say that for anything. Here try. Iran got nuclear missiles. "baruach hashem"

"1000 people died in syria" "baruach hashem" (okay thats not true. If you here someone dies, you say, baruach hasem ba’emet)

so this guy who sits next to me asks this really loaded question. "how was it"

before i really can answer that, let me tell you an odd thing that happened at this synagogue the rabbi suggested.

I walk in and I see a few people i know. Now, i dont have a seat in this shul and of course i dont want to sit in anyone elses place. So i take a seat in the back row and wait for asrei.

It was friday afternoon, just before shabbot.

The shul was quickly filling up. Everyone was smoozing before davening. Now, this shul is nusauch ashkenaz, which techically is probably the nusauch i should daven, but for various reasons, i prefer nusach safard. Since i wasnt raised by my father or step father with a specific nusauch, i had some religious freedom so-to-speak. My kids? They get stuck with nusauch sephard.

Anyway, i see this guy i know who normally davens at one of the other nine million shuls in our town and i ask him, "hey great to see you, what brings you here? Dont you normally daven at the really amzing shul of prayer and love?" (no its not called that)

so this is what this yid says. "the rav is out of town, so i thought id take a break and daven here"

i am being serious. This is what people say to each other when the rabbis arent around. I am sorry if that hurts your feelings – its hard being a rabbi.

I had nothing to say to this. I mean seriously, i was really hurt by this – and i am not even a member of the shul!

so i tried to judge this guy favorably and changed the subject. "hows work"

ya know anything more parve than going to a beit knesset as a "break

then the klop on the bima and ashrei. most of the fish in the pond started to swim – i mean shuckle, because if you dont, they kick your kids out school. I guess it could be worse. If it was Iran, theyd hang you.

Of course im kidding! they dont kick your kids out of schools for not shuckling. At least i think they dont.

So a few a few of the fish – a good number actually kept on talking. Quietly of course.

Oy!!! The rabbi sent me here, he must know something i dont. . . . But i m really sensitive to people smoozing during davening its like smoking.

So, i tried to judge favorably. Maybe theyre talking about where the chazzan is? Maybe its an emergency?

But this same group kept talking. So i moved.

Oy.

the friday night that i went back to the shul ive been going to for two yrs? No one talks during davening in thqe beit knesset. Ever.

Im serious. They smooze alot friday and since most dont have the minhag of korbnus there is alot of talking before the klop of ashrey there is no smoozing. Im not saying everyone is swimming, but noone is talking. The rabbi, the one who told me to go somewhere else? You can hear his voice. He has probably been saying the same words for fifty plus years. Yet, you can tell he wants to connect to the words.

His swaying? Look, all i can say, is he is not a fish. He is a man swimming trying to get the source of the water.

How can i possibly daven somewhere else?

Oy. So. This rabbi who came to visit which was why i was back.

Oy. He touched my soul. So deep.

By the time shabbot was over, i wanted to do real tsuva.

I wanted to restart to swim like a man, and not a fish.

But bad habits are hard to break.

Maybe the rabbi sent me away to help break my habits? To enable me to see a bigger picture. Maybe this other shul is a good place for me and my family. Ive got to give it time. its the same water. The temperature is a bit different.

By sunday, i was back.

Still struggling with tephillan, with saying more of the official words in the nusauch i chose.

More contemplation about daveing. About my children. About my wife. About Iran.

About my mom. About how tired i am, but somehow manage to fritter away my whole morning. Ive got koach to "work" but sit in a yeshiva or a morning sedar for 1hr? Forget it.

i start to beat myself up. My negative tape comes on.

Okay, at least i got tephillan on today. G-d woke me up. There is a reason for that. Yeh, ive got bad habits, but gd knows that more than i know that.

The roof still needs to be fixed. Ive got a vaad beit who cares about my building. Ive got an Owner who loves me. The only person who can truly fix my leak is me.

Best regards,

Daniel Rosenthal